The Birchwood Project

We have established the need for context in relationship to academic expectations; now we should see how to align expectations with ability and talent. Even though we all hope our children will succeed in school at a superior level, we also must match our hopes to potential. We readily acknowledge the impossibility that every child will make the varsity soccer team or the varsity debate team. Academic achievement is the same. Even if we maintain high expectations and expect hard work under any circumstance, high expectations and hard work cannot alter aptitude.

Setting realistic expectations and being able to attain expectations requires two components: identifying performance ceilings and building habits of mind and industry to reach expectations. It is actually a rather simple equation that we frequently apply to everyday affairs. Let me illustrate.

Last summer I enticed my grandson to play catch with a 20-inch, plastic ball. From ten feet away, I tossed him the ball only to have him swat it away with his uncoordinated, outstretched arms. Being an astute educator I noted, “Ah, expectations are too high! I must adjust.” I moved closer, maybe eight feet away. I let the ball fly. Same result. I pondered, “The ceiling is still too high.” I moved to a distance of five feet and told my grandson to stretch out his arms. Then I carefully aimed my toss so that the ball would land softly in his grasp. Success was ours. He beamed with pride. We did it again and again. He loved his success.

You might say we found his achievement ceiling and practiced from that point until he could catch the ball every time. But after repeated successes, it was time to raise the expectations, establish a new ceiling. First, I challenged him, “Do you think you could catch the ball if I took a big step backwards?” Bolstered by his recent successes, he welcomed the challenge, “Sure I can. Let’s do it.”

Our first few attempts at reaching new expectations followed a similar scenario. He missed the first two or three tosses. We both made some adjustments and soon he was catching the ball about half of the time. A few tosses bounced out of his arms or off his head. Clearly, he had not reached mastery. He could not attempt more difficult catches until he became proficient at this level of ball-catching. Nevertheless, we did establish an important ball-catching ceiling. We needed more practice at this level of expectation.

I believe we have had many similar experiences while teaching our children new skills. Common sense (as well as piles of research) will tell you that this is how people learn. But I would suggest to you that this is exactly what should happen in the academic world. You, together with your child’s teachers, should be ascertaining academic ceilings. You ought to ask yourself, “What are my child’s aptitudes? What are his/her ceilings at school?”

The folly of lock-step grade level curriculum is that it cannot possibly address each child’s learning potential. That requires parent-teacher collaboration. If children are going to develop their abilities to the fullest, then they need help establishing ceilings and support to reach and surpass their ceilings.

By Charles Debelak

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When setting academic expectations, we have to be aware of context. Superior performance in one context may be a mediocre performance in another. A good illustration comes from a friend of mine who at one point in her career was teaching a remedial reading course to college freshmen. Quite surprisingly three of her students who had ranked among the top 10% of graduates at their respective high schools were required to take this remedial course.

“How could this be?” I asked, incredulous. The answer was context. These students attended schools where the academic standards were detached from a broader county or state context. What their own school called excellent may have only been average in another high school. The commencement of college level work became their day of reckoning and they were found wanting. In my opinion this was an injustice to these students. They were led to believe something that was simply not true.

If we are serious about high quality education we must face context - that can be very disconcerting. It may challenge us; it may expose us. Imagine! We might not be what we say we are! Maybe our claims to high quality education are true only in our self-serving bubble. We have to face the facts of context, because if you don’t you might find yourself in a make-believe world.

My wife and I have always taken this kind of “hard line” approach to assessing our claims of high quality education at Birchwood. We wrestle with context. Sometimes we don’t like what we see. We may fall short. But that’s okay because then we can address our deficiencies head on. Actually in this regard context saves us. It saves us from babbling about a school of “excellence” or “world class education” when in fact the only excellence we have is that which is invented in our self-serving bubble. Frankly, we have no choice; if we say we offer a superior education, we must answer the question, “Superior to what?” If we say we have a good math program or an excellent writing curriculum we must answer, “What is our context?”

When we establish academic expectations based upon a meaningful context, we also develop a healthy appreciation of ourselves and our work. In weaknesses, we seek improvement. Amidst superior work, we learn. If we cannot be the best, then at least we know why, and we appreciate those individuals whose achievement standards are even higher than ours. In any case, within a meaningful context, we take inventory of who we are and what we can do. This is a place from which we can move forward and grow. And that just feels good.

By Charles Debelak

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What should we expect from our children? What is appropriate? Expectations have a powerful impact on performance and achievement. If we expect too little, we get little and a child’s development will be limited. If we expect too much we will cause frustration and discouragement. The question then becomes how we establish expectations that will lead to growth, development, and enthusiasm.

The first thing to keep in mind is that expectations are always determined by context. Without context achievement gropes for meaning. Whether you want your son or daughter to excel in dance, mathematics or writing you set your goals and measure progress based upon context.

For example, let’s look at learning how to play baseball. At first, we may simply want our son or daughter to develop basic skills in catching, throwing, and hitting. The context is personal enjoyment. With certain rudimentary skills a child can come to appreciate the game and enjoy it. But let’s imagine a child who wants to play on the city’s traveling team. Immediately the context changes and the expectations change. It is no longer a matter of whether the child can catch and hit for personal enjoyment, he or she must be able to hit as well or better than the other children trying out for the team in order to get a place on the roster. The challenge is similar if the child wants to play on the high school baseball team, or if during high school he or she wants to earn a baseball scholarship to college. Increasing levels of achievement are accompanied by increased expectation. Someone might ask, “Is Joey a good baseball player?” A friendly answer is, “Sure, he is a terrific player.” An honest answer is, “Compared to whom? What context are you talking about?”

Expectations work the same in education. On the one hand, certain levels of expectation are absolutely necessary within a broad, general context. Every child must learn to read, write, and solve mathematics problems. The context is productive membership in a democratic society. It defines baseline proficiencies. In fact, this is what most state tests are all about – developing core competencies. But as a parent you may have greater expectations for your child’s academic career. If so, the question becomes, “What is your context? With whom or with what are you comparing your notion of ‘greater expectations’?”

This is a tougher job than you may think. It seems that everything in American culture today is “excellent” or “award-winning.” It would be amusing if it was not so misleading. Today children receive academic awards, trophies, ribbons, certificates of distinction, newspaper write-ups, and a whole host of other symbols of excellence. But you have to ask the question, “What is the context?” When your child earns an “A” or a “B” in writing or math or reading, you should ask, “What is the context. How does this level of achievement compare to my child’s actual ability? How does it compare to other students his/her age? How do the academic expectations compare to those in other classrooms, other cities, other states, other countries?” The academic levels to which you want your son or daughter to attain depends upon your level of expectations, and your expectations depend upon the context of your assessment.

Certainly expectations should be and will be mitigated by ability. Next month we will talk about this. But as a parent who cares greatly about your child’s academic achievement, it is important that you guide your child’s development by meaningful contexts.

by Charles Debelak

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EXPECTATIONS AND EDUCATION

Recently a Birchwood grad wrote me a letter about her experience in a high school mathematics course. As a freshman, she was taking an algebra2/trig course usually taken by high school juniors. At first she was intimidated and nervous, thinking to herself that everyone would be smarter than she. Her fears soon faded. Of the 15 problems the teacher assigned in class, she could do them all in her head. She said a junior level classmate asked her for help with “stuff I learned last year at Birchwood!” The Birchwood grad walked out of the class laughing and thinking, “I couldn’t be happier that I went to Birchwood. It was hard work but it sure paid off.”

I tell this story to make a point about academic expectations. Birchwood students are not smarter
than students in other schools. Raw statistics will tell us that 25% of the student population in Metropolitan Cleveland have IQ’s over 115 (students I call “bright”), and 10% have IQ’s over 130 (gifted in the traditional sense). That means that if there are 10,000 fifth grade students in Northeast Ohio, then twenty-five hundred are considered bright or gifted and one thousand of those have IQ’s over 130. That’s a lot of students. Why do Birchwood grads stand out among them? Why do they do so well comparatively in high school? Simple. We have expected more from them and they have responded to our expectations. They work hard and they achieve.

The fact is, that if you do not expect a child’s best work, you will not get it. There are no secrets here. Experience and research show that people perform to the expectations placed upon them. Expect little, you get little. Expect much, you will get much.

There is another side to this. If you do not expect a child’s best, and if you do not nurture the child to reach his or her best, you will not help that child develop a sense of fulfillment and self-worth. All children are driven to establish self-efficacy. Who am I? What am I? A healthy answer to these questions results from what a child accomplishes, and if children are not given meaningful academic expectations to achieve, they will not perceive of themselves as good students with high academic aspirations.

Quite honestly, I really push my students in mathematics. I expect much more from them than what most elementary and mathematics programs would expect. Certainly I take into consideration their aptitude and needs. Nevertheless, based upon their abilities, I expect and demand! Don’t get me wrong. That does not mean that I have to be harsh or mean. Students know I always support them, and will do anything to help them achieve. They perceive from my expectations that I care about them greatly. In addition, my classes are often filled with joking and laughter (my wife thinks far too much); but my expectations are uncompromising. On this, I do not relent. And guess what? My students excel and they enjoy (if not love) mathematics.

Nurturing talent and demanding performance are not mutually exclusive. They go together. If you do not demand, nurturing morphs into pampering and your child will whine about every little challenge placed in from of him or her. On the other hand, if you do not nurture, your demands will just become a pressure upon your child and create anxiety.

In next month’s issue we will discuss how to establish meaningfully high expectations.

By Charles Debelak

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In this last essay on “becoming great,” (that is, becoming virtuous) I would like to emphasize the enduring value of this objective. The value endures because this value is intrinsic to human nature (this was Aristotle’s view). Each child is born with the potential to be virtuous. It is a common heritage. Not everyone is born with the capacity for music or athletics or leadership. Not all have the same cognitive abilities or the good fortune to be born in a wealthy society. But concerning the capacity for virtue, there is no difference. The virtuous s life can, and has, emerged from every corner of the world and every strata of society. It is no surprise then that stories of great people are ubiquitous, spanning intellectual, social, economic, racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural spheres.

Since virtue is intrinsic to human nature, setting virtue as an objective is like making plans for personal fulfillment. It includes lifelong enrichment, growth, and accomplishment. It enables us to become a blessing to family, friends, and society.

What does this mean for parenting? First, we understand that our children will discover personal fulfillment and happiness when they are growing and becoming who they can become. Consequently, we show them how to identify their strengths and weaknesses in and out of school, and explain how to set meaningful goals that will stretch their abilities. These are goals that will require self-discipline and hard work but are still within reach. Then we support this effort with the language of achievement: “Do your best; don’t quit; push yourself; work now – play later.” In the end, we let them know that we stand right alongside them as they stretch forward to achieve.

Second, we show them how to take positive ownership of their life among others - how to make friends, how to be a friend, how to create a friendly atmosphere, how to be a productive contributor in every social setting. Don’t let children become victims! Don’t let them pick up the habit of blaming everyone and everything for their lack of happiness. Show them how to get along with all kinds of people – those they like and those they do not like. Explain how to make the best out of each environment and social situation. If you can teach your children how to become a positive influence wherever they are, they will be valued and cherished throughout their life.

Finally, we must recognize that parents are the catalyst to make children “great.” It may require our time; it may require our money. It most certainly will consume our heart. But we make it happen. If we do not grasp this central role, someone else will, whether deliberately or by default, whether for good or ill. In one way or another, our children will be shaped by the influences bearing upon them. We ought to posture ourselves to exert the greatest influence. For better or worse, our children are our most enduring legacy. We ought to guide them toward a life of enduring value.

By Charles Debelak

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The fourth Cardinal Virtue is wisdom. Wisdom describes matured insight, discernment, judgment, and decision-making. In some ways wisdom is the fruit of practicing the other three virtues – justice, courage, and self-control. Wisdom embodies the cumulative experience of someone who struggles to live a virtuous life. In circumstance after circumstance, in event upon event, in trial after trial, the individual seeks to do what is “good”, and exercises himself toward justice with courage and self-control. In this pathway, he apprehends what is good and true. He learns from success, but more frequently he discerns truth through failures, setbacks, and hardships. If he is determined to mature, he will learn from the lives of other virtuous people - sometimes through biography, other times through cultural history, and still more frequently, through family and friends. Through practicing virtue, wisdom is learned – step-by-step, day-by-day, year-by-year. Wisdom becomes a skill, honed through life-long efforts to know the good, love the good, and choose the good.

Unlike any other human endeavor in which we become better and better through practice, wisdom’s deepest and most enduring lessons come at the hands of failure. The person who strives to become virtuous discovers how often he is wrong; how recurrently he is weak; how repeatedly he must say, “I am sorry.” In the end, the pathway to wisdom is paved with humility. Humility is wisdom’s midwife and its signature characteristic.

How then do we teach children wisdom? Well, we don’t. Instead we encourage, remind, inspire, and provoke them to practice the other virtues consistently and habitually. Practice leads to habit; habit to lifestyle. John Bargh, professor of social psychology at Yale and pioneer in the studies of automaticity, writes, “Most mental processes that adults perform happen automatically based upon their particular history of habit formation.” Similarly, Ray Kurzweil, inventor, futurist, and author at Harvard, writes about brain functioning, “What we know, what we believe, what we think, is a product of pattern recognition. Our thinking and behavior is based upon a personal history of patterns.”

Parents can start by reading stories of virtuous people or pointing out examples of virtuous behavior wherever they can be found. Parents can also begin by supplying the language for virtuous living: “Did you do your best? Did you try hard? Were you nice to everyone at school? Did you make friends? Did you listen to your teacher?” As children grow, parents can remind them, “What are your goals this quarter? Have you treated your classmates and teacher well? Were you respectful? Did you finish your work before you began playing?” Language precedes good behavior and consistency of good behavior becomes habit. When children grow up with the mantra to know the good, love the good and do the good, the effort to do so becomes a part of their personality.

We hope and strive that our children will excel in life - some professionally, some in academics, some in finance, some in power and influence. Each achievement is valuable, yet the personal satisfaction therein fades. Wisdom endures. It is the crowning attribute on a life lived well, and the greatest commodity with which to bless others.

By Charles Debealk

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The Cardinal Virtues - justice, courage, self-control, and wisdom – work together as a whole. Justice – the effort to be right toward yourself, others, and responsibilities - requires courage, and courage describes the attitude and will power to choose what is right even when the choice runs contrary to popular opinion. As I wrote last month, recognizing the need for courage, reminds us of the “good” that lives in our hearts and our aspiration to “do the good.”

Courage is coupled with self-control. It is one thing for a young person to aspire toward the good. It is another thing to have the mental and psychological wherewithal to answer the call to courage. Without self-control - the combined effort of mind, will, and emotion – it will be difficult to carry out one’s aspirations. Self-control is the aggregate of reasoning, passion, and volition. The young person who learns self-control not only knows the good and loves the good, but is able to do the good.

At a practical level, self-control describes one’s ability to manage an internal conversation. This conversation is a discussion in our minds between contending ideas - what we should or should not do. Sometimes it is a conversation about good or bad. Other times it is about what is good, better, or best. When teaching middle school students, I often describe the conversation in simplistic, yet very experiential, language. On the chalkboard I draw a large circle that represents a young person. I draw a diameter dividing the person in half. On one side of the circle I sketch a cartoon character with horns and a pitchfork. On the other half, I scribble a crude stick figure with a halo over its head. A childish illustration to be sure, but the young adolescents understand immediately what I mean because this picture illustrates their experience. They have experienced the arguments between these two caricatures.

I explain to my students that at each juncture of decision-making, whether it is something simple like doing or not doing homework, or something more serious that challenges the morality and ethics of family and culture, each of us faces contending, internal “voices.” Self-control is learning how to manage these conversations. Successful management, that is, the ability to regulate the conversation so the youngster does what is good, requires three components.

First, students should realize that their internal debate is normal; it is human. Like every human being, young adults are capable of very good thoughts and very bad thoughts. There does not exist on the face of the earth a category of people who are good and hence have only good thoughts. Nor are there a group of people who are bad and have only bad thoughts. It is rather that both voices do battle within our mind and hearts. How a person finally determines to live his or her life is not the result of being inherently bad or good, but how he or she manages the internal argument between good and bad. It is within the power of each youngster to become a good and noble young adult.

Second, students need an arsenal of moral and ethical arguments for all the challenges they face. Without weapons of good reasoning - lessons from parents, lessons from church-temple-synagogue-mosque, examples from role models, reinforcement from school and society - young people are helpless puppets easily manipulated by the ideas, trends, and justifications for thought and action that can misdirect and then spoil their aspirations.

Finally, students need mentors - parents are the best - with whom they can rehearse and practice managing their internal conversations. This is particularly important in the early teen years when young people are flooded with ideas and concepts that may challenge their moral upbringing. During times of challenge, young people need mature adults with whom they can discuss their internal conversations and learn how to develop healthy reasoning that will lead to self-control and the attainment of their aspirations. When functioning as a mentor, adults must be careful not to judge a young person’s thoughts too quickly. If parents are judgmental, they risk driving the youngster into silence and rebellion. If parents are too flippant, i.e. “he’s free to make his own choices”, they are relinquishing a powerful role that could help their child reach his or her highest potential.

Self-control is a learned habit, cultivated through guidance.

By Charles Debelak

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When I talk about children becoming “great,” I am referring to them becoming virtuous. In the 21st century, the term virtue may seem archaic, but it best describes those human characteristics that have been revered throughout time. They lead to a personally fulfilling life and a life that elicits the respect and admiration of others. In children, these virtues are what Aristotle called “potentialities”, possibilities that need to be cultivated through teaching and training in order to make them “actualities”.

The first virtue we discussed in these essays is justice – being right toward self, others, and responsibilities. This virtue works in harmony with the other three cardinal virtues: courage, self-control, and practical wisdom.

Once a child understands the meaning of being just, he must also understand that becoming just is difficult. Courage is needed. There are challenges, and each challenge may require hard work, or hardship, or even sacrifice. To be sure this struggle is always worth the effort - we become better people, better friends, better workers. Nevertheless courage will be needed.

When we explain to children the need for courage, two things happen. First, children recall their potential to be virtuous. They are awakened to the “good” that is hidden within their heart. But at the same time, they also realize that living a virtuous life comes with challenges. Virtue is a wonderful goal, but it does not come easily. In fact, children come to realize that the more noble the goal, the more difficult the climb. Becoming “good” and doing “good” follow a narrow road where only the courageous tread.

But we could ask, “Why would 21st century young people want to hear about toil, hardship, and sacrifice?” This language seems so contrary to what we tend to believe about young people. But as I have written in the past, despite first appearances, children and young adolescents love to hear the language of virtue and courage. Why? It simply matches their human nature. In the deepest recesses of their heart they want to be virtuous. They just need encouragement and instruction.

Recently in my eighth grade opening class (a daily 15 minute lesson about character) we watched The Miracle Worker, a story of Anne Sullivan and her remarkable work with Helen Keller. We discussed the challenges Anne faced, her motivation to take responsibility, and the courage required to persist until she finally reached Helen. At the conclusion of the movie, when Helen is at the water pump repeating the word “water”, indicating at long last, a level of understanding, the students and I took note of Helen’s wonder and Anne’s jubilation. At that moment we stopped the film. Through discussion we identified the tremendous satisfaction Anne Sullivan experienced. Her toil, hardship and sacrifice were rewarded. Helen understood. Anne succeeded. Certainly hers was a “good” work. The power of the moment hit each student. Anne’s virtue prevailed. Her nobility shined.

Afterwards the students wanted to talk about their own aspirations. They even wanted to talk about courage, specifically the courage they would need to reach their own goals. We talked about the hardships they might face and the sacrifices that would be needed. Not surprisingly they greeted the challenges with measured enthusiasm. Will it be hard? Yes. But they wanted to respond to the challenge. These young teens have the potential to be virtuous. With encouragement and guidance they can rise to the challenge.

By Charles Debelak

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THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME GREAT

The Cardinal Virtues – Just Toward Responsibilities

THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME GREAT
The Cardinal Virtues – Responsible to Others

By Charles Debelak

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THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME GREAT

The Cardinal Virtues – Responsible to Yourself

Aristotle’s teaching about virtue has affected world cultures for 2000 years. He observed that every child has the potential to be a virtuous person – or what I like to call a”great person.” For Aristotle, “potentiality” needed cultivation until it became “actuality.”

Aristotle’s list of virtues is robust, but it is summarized in what has become know as the four cardinal virtues – justice, courage, self-control and wisdom. In total, these cardinal virtues encapsulate the description of a virtuous person, a great person.

Justice, or to be “right”, is listed first. It has four applications: right toward ourselves, right toward our duties, right toward others, and right toward God. The notion defies current models of self-absorption and hedonism. Instead, virtue begins by assigning young people responsibilities. As young adults fulfill those responsibilities they experience the richness and fullness of life; they nurture a deep sense of personal satisfaction, and mark themselves out as a noble people.

The first of these applications - right toward ourselves - tells the young child that maturity and personal fulfillment lie in your effort to become what you can become. It explains that you – personally, primarily and foremost - are responsible to develop your skills and your talents. Furthermore, you are also responsible to help shape your attitudes and dispositions toward life and its complexities. Even though life’s journey begins with your genetic make-up, virtue takes that basic foundation and helps it reach its highest potential.

Yes . . . we can, should and must teach our children to think and act with this kind of virtue. It may be hard for parents to believe it’s possible; our culture has drifted far from the confidence that children could or would take such personal responsibility for their own lives. Tracy Cross, Distinguished Professor of Gifted Studies at Ball State University, explains that during the past 50 years, the metaphor for life among young people has changed. In the first half of the 20^th century the metaphor was life as achievement; its models were Edison, Einstein, Jackie Robinson. Now the metaphor has become life as entertainment: its models are entertainment and sports icons. The change deeply affects how young people approach life.

But, parents, you should believe that children are capable of listening to, responding to, and taking action upon challenges that require them to be responsible to themselves. Actually, I have found that children love it when I talk to them this way, when I place the responsibility of becoming what they can become squarely upon their own shoulders. Somehow, intuitively, they know it is true. They simply need the courage to think it is so and the support that helps them act upon it. Then, of course, they need adult encouragement and guidance. But because this virtue is intrinsic to their human make-up, they are able to respond.

My basic premise in teaching mathematics, and my central expectation, is that students will assume responsibility for their progress and success. It is their job to do well. Certainly I will help in every imaginable way, from classroom instruction to after-school tutoring. But I cannot make my students learn math. They must learn and practice virtue toward themselves. I use the language that inspires this responsibility and offer the continuing support that brings it to fruition.

My wife and I take the same approach in our Leadership Class for middle school students. “Leadership is proactive,” we tell the students, “You should not wait for us to tell you what to do. Open your eyes. See what is needed. LEAD! Cultivate the talents and capacities you have.”  We understand that the maturing process will take time. But it starts with our expectations and instruction.

Children, as a part of their human constitution, possess the capacity to be responsible toward themselves. We adults must believe it is possible and then offer our guidance, encouragement, and support.

By Charles Debelak

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What does it mean when we talk about children “reaching their potential?” Let’s consider. When we see a tadpole, we see the potential for a frog. When we see an apple seed we see the potential for an apple tree. But when we see a little child . . . what is it that we see? The answer is not immediate. We know intuitively that it is not just physical maturity, and if we ponder long enough we also have to admit that it is not merely adult accomplishment. Then what is human potential?

The early Greek philosophers, Aristotle in particular, answered this question in a manner that affected moral, ethical and religious thought for more than 2000 years. Aristotle defined human potential in terms of human virtue. For Aristotle, the essence of being human is to be virtuous, and within every boy and girl is the potential to become a virtuous adult. In becoming virtuous, the child becomes fully human. Virtue does not necessarily suggest a successful professional life, or one of fame and good fortune. According to Aristotle, virtue describes those characteristics of conduct that spontaneously elicit respect, honor and admiration regardless of cultural or religious background.

Aristotle’s view has powerful implications for parenting and education. Virtue is given center stage. Its importance includes but also trancends intellectual development or any other kind of personal achievement. The cultivation of virtue is at the heart of what it means to be human and correspondingly what it means to lead a fulfilled life. The development of virtue makes a human a human.

Children can become doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, or trades people. But these professions only describe what people do. They do not define what it means to be human and, according to Aristotle, they cannot fulfill human life. On the contrary, it is within the personal struggle to “know the good, love the good, and do the good” i.e. virtue, that the child finds fulfillment in adult life. Yes, life may include intellectual and financial success, but the sum of a virtuous life is much more than achievements.

Having worked closely with children, young adults, and young parents for more than 35 years, my experiences support Aristotle’s viewpoint, and I have let this perspective shape much of my work as an educator. It is a work that I call “raising great kids.”On the one hand it includes achievement, talent development, and personal success. But it also includes building good work habits and shaping the ethics of achievement. It includes nurturing healthy attitudes, aspirations, and determination. It expects and requires that children learn social intelligence – they know how to interact with others at all times and in all places. This work has as its end a “great” kid, one whose life and conduct elicits respect and honor from others, a life that brings a sense of personal fulfillment and positively affects family, friends and the greater society.

This will be the topic of the Clipboard essays during the 2010-11 school year. I will explore with you Aristotle’s notion of virtue, particularly as it applies to parenting and education. I will also show how both history and modern research supports this perspective.

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During this past year, we reviewed briefly Dr. Carol Dweck’s popular new book Mindsets: The New Psychology of Success. The book’s theme focuses on the growth mindset and how to teach children to view opportunity, achievement, and success as things that are within their own control. The book explains that a history of one’s accomplishments is related more closely to the attitude and effort of personal achievement ethics, than it is to factors outside of one’s control – heredity, environment, chance.

I believe a growth mindset is particularly important amidst cultural pressures and tendencies that allow children to become victims of their circumstances and to blame people and places for their own hardship, failure, and disappointment. The theme is played out nightly in the news. You can hear it from children, young adults, and often parents, who are looking to avoid personal struggles or responsibility. Dweck would categorize this outlook on life as the result of a fixed mindset, a mindset that says. “Without the right environment, or people, or money, I am powerless, a victim of my circumstances, a prisoner of my personal history.”

My observation during my 30+ years in education is that this attitude seems to be gaining more and more traction among our youth. If young people aren’t careful, this thinking can create a form of 21st century slavery, a bondage to the assumption that we are powerless until someone or some program gives us what we want. To counter this general trend it’s important that we teach our children the attitudes and habits of the growth mindset. We should help them emulate the attitudes and work ethic of the wonderful success stories that surround us.

Like the story of Melinda, a teenage girl I met 20 years ago. She was attending Case Western Reserve University on a full scholarship, yet she had been educated in one of Cleveland’s poorest performing schools. I asked her, “How did you do it? Why didn’t you drop out like so many other girls from your neighborhood? Why weren’t you overwhelmed by the debilitating circumstances surrounding you?” She gave me a knowing smirk and said, “My Mom woulda’ killed me!” She went on to explain that her mother accepted no excuses for poor academic performance. When Melinda griped about poor teachers, her mother shot back, “How does a poor teacher keep you from studying or getting help from tutors?” If Melinda complained that the other students didn’t care about school and teased her when she took school seriously, Momma shot back without mercy, “They are losers. Do you think they have any kind of meaningful future? Do you think their opinions mean anything or have any other purpose except to tear you down and make you like them?” Melinda looked up at me and said, “Momma usually won the arguments . . . and here I am today.”

A recurring theme in my middle school classes is “take charge.” I often ask my students, “What are your goals? What challenges are before you? Are you facing problems that need to be resolved?” Then I show them how to “attack,” how to get the bottom of these issues and forge a strategy to move forward. From my experience, young people love this kind of talk. They are inspired and ready to work. They want to assume control of their lives. With encouragement and support from those who love them, they are completely capable of taking charge. We just need to show them how.

If we help our children see our great country as a field of opportunity, they can, through effort and struggle, reach their highest ambitions. But if they are guided by self-indulgent cultural trends, our young people will find themselves in a swampy marsh, unable to move and a target of predators.

By Charles Debelak

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When heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve where he is incompetent.” Meng Tzu, China, 3^rd cent, BCD

If parents hope to instill a growth mindset in their children, it will be important to teach them how to face life’s afflictions. Affliction, hardship, and disappointment are inescapable. They are life’s crucible inflicting mixed results upon our lives. They can forge strength, courage, and virtue, or they can impose crushing defeat and withdrawal. The choice in life is not whether or not we will face these trials, but how we will cope with them. This requires a healthy mindset, one that understands the place and purpose of life’s challenges.

In raising our four children, Helene and I found this task the most difficult. We did not want to help our children to face any afflictions, hardships or disappointments. Our parental hearts wanted to protect them from every possible heartache. When difficulties occurred my first reaction was to defend them, justify them and make someone else pay for their pain! But of course deep at the core of our hearts, Helene and I knew better; this was life, bad “stuff” happens. But we also knew that good things could come out of each and every trial.

What then. . .? We took a deep breath, put aside our paternal subjectivity, and helped our children gain perspective. We had to take the first step to swallow our inclination to blame or find excuses, and only then, we could put the affliction in perspective. Something could be learned out of this trial; something could be gained in the end.

As we muted our visceral reactions, we were able to comfort our children, support them, and when their tears finally stopped, talk to them about making something good emerge in the end. They were too young to do it on their own. They needed guidance. Without this support they could become bitter, a slave of their own anger toward others, allowing a poor self-concept to take root, and perhaps lean toward a lifestyle that always seeks the path of least resistance. Certainly if Helene and I felt we needed to be our children’s advocates with the people or events that caused the anguish, we jumped into the middle of the problem. But often what was needed more often, was for us to invest time with our children, working together to craft a plan that, on the one hand, helped them gain a perspective about the trial, while on the other hand, making the most of the trial.

The process was always painful for Mom, Dad and the kids. But like the afflictions themselves, these times became a factor for lessons that could last a life time.

By Charles Debelak

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All students should develop a growth mindset: those who assume they are “bright” and those who do not. In either case, if children develop a growth mindset they develop a life pattern that fosters hope. Whenever they take on a new activity, whenever they face a new stage in life, they will focus on how to improve and grow.

Developing a growth mindset begins with changing children’s perceptions, and changing the language that supports those perceptions. The result is student progress and success.

I love teaching mathematics because this process is so evident. Students march into my class in the fall with clear notions about their mathematical prowess, or lack thereof. When Julie entered my class one September, she warned me ahead of time, “I’m not good at math.” She wanted to make sure that I understood why she was going to fail and why I should go easy on her. That’s how a fixed mindset works in a child who assumes she is not capable. On the other hand, Linda entered the same class possessing a stellar mathematics history in the fourth grade. She was at the top of the class. She also gave me a “heads up” on the first day of school: “Hey, Mr. D, I’m really good at math!”

Both students had a fixed mindset. Both had drawn conclusions about their abilities, and I knew from experience, they both would perform up to the level that justified what they believed about themselves. Julie would begin pouting from the first day, lamenting her lack of mathematical brain power while Linda would thrust herself into her work to show-off her competencies and impress her new teacher. Of course, little did Linda realize that old Mr. D knows quite well that when she encounters math skills that she will not understand simply by raw talent alone, she too would slip into a mathematical “funk” and decide she is not as good at mathematics as she first believed.

For both students it was time to reshape their mindset and to learn a new language that would support that mindset.

I told Julie about some of my math students from the past who claimed they were not “good” at math. I described the power of practice, focused efforts, and the necessity of pushing yourself. Then with supportive coaching, focused instruction, repetition, steady and detailed support, and warm, loving encouragement, Julie learned! She experienced success and she loved it. From this starting point I could tell her, “Look what you did! You practiced. You worked hard. You did not give up. And you got it!” At this point my praises are only reinforcing the intrinsic satisfaction of accomplishment. Julie is on her way toward building a growth mindset.

Linda’s experience is a little different. She could do just about everything I gave her during the first month of school. I realized I had a very bright girl on my hands and it was time to give her more challenging work. She could do more and should do more, so I congratulated her on her efforts and asked her if she would like to attempt some very advanced concepts. She beamed. “Definitely, Mr. D. Bring it on!”

Round #2 was a little different. I made sure the level of work was at such a level that she would not understand it without some of the same efforts Julie had to learn: practice, focused effort, and self-discipline. The initial results were interesting. Julie did not understand how to do the problems and she simply quit. She said, “I can’t do this” Period. And I thought; “Good,” now we can talk about effort. Now we can begin nurturing a growth mindset that would, in turn, enable Linda to develop and realize her full potential in mathematics.

Next month we will continue our discussion of how to nurture a growth mindset.

By Charles Debelak

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Last month we explained that parents can have a great deal of input concerning their children’s emerging competency and motivation. They can guide their children to address small and great challenges, and then step-bystep walk them through the stages of effort that lead to success. But more importantly, not only should parents help their children establish early competencies, they should also help fashion a mindset that will propel children into a lifelong pathway that is motivated toward achievement, a life whose premise is to grow, blossom, and reinvent itself year after year, decade after decade. Carol Dweck, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist and author of Mindset – the New Psychology of Success, calls this disposition toward life a “growth mindset.”

To understand the meaning of “growth mindset” it helps to understand its converse, a “fixed mindset.” With a fixed mindset, children (and often parents) believe that ability and talent are fixed: either a child is endowed with specific skills and talents or he is not. In this mindset, a child, after only a few experiences, makes assumptions about his innate abilities. For example, because he does not understand how to do a particular math problem, or how to write a clear paragraph, or hit a baseball, the child concludes that he “is just not good” in this area. Based upon this outlook, it becomes a child’s habit to make quick judgments about his abilities, and these premature judgments determine whether he will stretch forward toward greater competencies or use a contrived belief about “inability” as an excuse to give up.

Usually it is not in the child’s mindset (unless an adult intervenes) to reason, “It doesn’t matter whether I am presently good at mathematics or writing or baseball, because if I am not “good at it” I will study, practice more, and work harder. Eventually I will get it and I will do it well.” A fixed mindset, however, does not have strategies to face setbacks or failures. Instead the fixed mindset exercises coping mechanisms. The child will find someone or something to blame for his failure, “I am just not smart in math. This material is too hard. My math teachers are not good.”Furthermore, the fixed mindset lets the child shirk his responsibility to learn and consequently limits any achievement. Having a fixed mindset makes effort disagreeable and leaves the child without any strategies to improve and grow. The growth mindset, on the other hand, looks at ability and talent as having expanding potential. It recognizes what research has confirmed: the brain is like a muscle and if exercised properly its capacity and functionality can grow.

The growth mindset doesn’t care whether the child’s early experience at any given activity is successful or not because it knows that talent grows by effort. Through practice, exercise, self-discipline and perseverance, the child will become competent. With a growth mindset, the child develops strategies for facing challenges, dealing with setbacks and failures, finding new and creative pathways to success. The growth mindset enables. It mpowers. In the course of a lifetime, those with a growth mindset are ever-expanding their skills and talents because facing challenges and solving problems has become a way of life. Those with a growth mindset are continually making their own life and the lives of those around them rich and full.

Next month we will examine the attributes of a fixed mindset and explore how to cultivate these traits in our children.

By Charles Debelak

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As we discussed last month, all children strive for competency. They want to get good at something and establish themselves as a capable person. But we also noted that if left solely to their own choice children may avoid pursuing challenging competencies that will best develop their personal potential. They dodge these tasks because often they are arduous, requiring more thought, effort, and time. They also pose the potential for failure. Hence, some adult intervention is necessary to provide children the support they need to face these challenges.

Take, for example, learning how to play the piano. It is not unusual for a six year old to express interest in learning how to play, and at first he may show enthusiasm for lessons. Learning at first is easy. But before long comes the necessity of drill and repetition, and there is no easy path to gain proficiency except through diligence and hard work. Maybe the child has to learn scales or memorize a short piece. In either case, the task is beyond the will power of a six year old child. Young children lack the maturity to tell themselves to focus, work hard and persevere. Adult intervention is needed and someone’s support (usually Mom’s) must provide an encouraging yet firm hand enabling the child to succeed. Once the child gains some degree of mastery, he experiences success and is inspired to continue. Of course we know the next challenge for the young pianist is right around the corner, one that extends beyond the child’s strength of will (even if he possesses the capacity for advancement), and success will require the firm yet encouraging attention of Mom. In order for children to become highly accomplished pianists the cycle may continue into adolescence.

Mrs. Chu, our music teacher, tells me that among highly accomplished pianists, there comes a time when they are not only improving their talent but they begin to realize that an integral part of development is this process in which they recognize challenge, face challenge, and meet challenge becomes an integral part of their skill development. They actually thrive on the process as much as they enjoy the beauty of their music.

An academic parallel is learning to write expository essays, those which require not only good writing skills but also clear and logical reasoning. Unlike the experience of the aspiring pianist, the elementary school child may not even begin with the slightest interest in learning how to write clearly. A teacher can try to describe the personal satisfaction acquired through writing well, but the child won’t buy it. How can writing be “fun?”

In this case it takes a few “hard nosed” teachers ready to provide not only writing expertise, but even more, the will power, the encouragement, the guidance, and the unrelenting support that compels children to build their compositions from atrocious first edits to exemplary final products. From my experience, I am not sure whether this process is more difficult for the teacher or the student because although the child is being compelled to do work that he does not want to do, the teacher on the other hand, must work with the student’s resistance, the absence of skills, a negative attitude, and the incalculable amount of time and effort it takes to bring each child’s writing from literary and logical mush, to clear, precise message (it is no wonder that teaching writing on this level is often neglected in most schools). Nevertheless, the reward at the end is great. Over time children discover the deep satisfaction of articulating their thoughts to specific audiences and seeing the impact their writing has on others. They learn to appreciate the value and rigor of good reasoning and logic, and they recognize the importance of being able to communicate clearly and effectively: a competency that provides lifelong value.

by Charles Debelak

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Research beginning in the 1950’s supports what most parents recognize intuitively: children desire competency. They want to become good at something and they want to be recognized for their competencies. The best anecdotal proof of this phenomenon is a child’s face just after experiencing success. Not only his or her countenance beams, but the entire body is animated with satisfaction. It feels so good to accomplish things.

But equally important, research notes that children wish to grow in their specific competencies and if given the opportunity they will readily select tasks that “represent an optimal challenge given their capacities” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1975; Deci, 1975). In other words, once children establish some level of task success, they want to get better. They will seek out challenges that are slightly more difficult, ones that suggest probable success and increased competency. As competency grows, the child identifies himself with the activity: “I’m a good reader. I’m a good problem solver. I’m a good athlete.” Little-by-little, just like their adult models, children describe themselves by their competencies. It is also important to note, however, that children will be careful not to select challenges that might lead to failure. Hence they may avoid those tasks which would be most helpful to them in the long run.

The drive for competency places each child on a little personal odyssey, a quest for competencies in life. Children are programmed to engage their world, trying to establish who they are and who they will become. Even without parent or teacher input, children will seek competencies in life and growth in those competencies.

But parents and educators should also realize that most children, left to their own devices, will not necessary seek competence in the more challenging and personally enriching tasks, those that will most benefit their lives. Sometimes the competencies children seek from their own initiative can be productive, but often they are only choices along the path of least resistance. They have little impact on the child’s course toward productive adulthood. It is a self-selecting process and the odds of enduring value are low. For many years I have watched, with no small amount of heartache, some young people who become very good at activities that do nothing to benefit them in the future and sometimes even lead them down roads that squander their potential. Are they competent? Certainly. But competent at what?

On the other hand, parents and educators can direct the development of competences toward fulfilling the child’s highest personal potential. This is more difficult because often the development of these competencies requires more thought, more effort, more time, and they pose the potential for initial failure and discouragement. Children left solely to themselves, e.g. “What would you like to do, Honey?” will usually avoid the kind of activities that lead to productive competencies. Intervention is needed. Some adult must exercise time, patience, and perseverance to help children discover competencies in those tasks and activities that will lead not only to a fuller and more productive personal life, but also to greater personal satisfaction.

Let’s talk about these activities next month.

by Charles Debelak

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Welcome to the 2009-2010 school year and another series of short essays designed to make research and historical precedents applicable to the day-to-day tasks of raising great children. Our discussions this year will focus on issues of competency and motivation. Competency is verified ability. It is based upon what we have really accomplished. Competency leads to efficacy, the realization that we are effective in life and from here we develop our sense of personal value. Motivation describes internal drive. When motivated, we are roused to action and productivity. Together, competency and motivation help shape our sense of self-worth.

Since the late 1950’s research in the field of human development has recognized that the need for competence is innate. We humans want to be able to do things, and once we can do something we want to get better at it. Robert W. White (1959), a pioneer in this field, suggested that to develop as a human being is to attain greater competence. As competency increases we feel satisfied and fulfilled.

We frequently see this phenomenon played out in children. One of my grandchildren is a two-year old toddler, Jonah. During his last visit he established his competency for throwing away rubbish for “Papachuck.” I would give him a piece of crumpled paper from my desk. I assigned him a never-before-attempted task of throwing the paper away in a rubbish container. I said, “Jonah, throw this in  the rubbish can.” He gave me a puzzled look. I repeated the request, pointed at my crumpled paper, and motioned toward at the rubbish container a few feet away. Finally, he took the paper, walked to the container and dropped it in. Immediately I declared, “You did it!” He looked at me with great satisfaction and beamed, “I did it!” he said. Then without further provocation boasted again, “I did it!”

You can guess what happened next. He walked back to me, grabbed another piece of paper off my desk, marched it to the rubbish, dropped it in, and with the biggest smile called out, “I did it!” Not only was he establishing his competency for throwing things away in the rubbish container, he apparently wanted to get better at it. Before long, he continued his quest for increased competency by dispensing my notebook, my pen and the TV remote control into the trash (we are  talking about competency here not perfection).

The same, although more sophisticated scenario, is played out among elementary and middle school students. Often in my math class, I will take pains to make math assignments relatively challenging yet likely to be mastered. The result is similar to Jonah’s trash can conquest. With time and support, the math students “did it.” They got the problems right, and then they want to do more problems. They are proud of themselves and before long identify themselves as “good at math.” They established a degree of math competency.

An even more sophisticated example occurs when we work with students in the National History Day competition. For nearly five months students intensely read, research, synthesize and write. It is an absolutely grueling process for students and teachers. You would think that after such an experience students would vow to themselves never to get involved with “that” again. But in fact, the opposite is true. Even if students do not win the competition per se, they have developed extraordinary competencies in the process; upon the completion of the competition, they are already discussing what topic they will do the following year. In fact, even though some of these students are graduating eighth graders they even wonder if they can still do History Day in high school. The hard work does not dissuade them from further rigor. They are motivated. They have accomplished something; they have proved their ability and they feel great about themselves.

By Charles Debelak

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A PARENT’S ROLE IN EDUCATING CHILDREN
Giving Children Autonomy - Part 2

In Beyond the Classroom, Laurence Steinberg’s research suggests that the primary factor for school success is a student’s the level of engagement in learning. If children value education, if they understand how a strong education will play out in their lives, and if they make learning their personal responsibility, they are likely to have a successful experience in school. Steinberg points out that parents play the most formidable role in shaping these values by exercising firmness, acceptance and autonomy.

As we discussed in previous essays, efforts to teach children how to exercise autonomy are built upon a foundation of parental firmness – shaping habits and will at an early age, and acceptance – assuring the child of unconditional, parental love and support. From this foundation, parents should keep in mind two guiding principles as they begin to give their children greater personal autonomy.

The first principle builds upon precepts of classical education: autonomy that which leads to personal development and responsibility is rooted in reason. A life of reason subjects passion to knowledge, experience, history, and critical thinking. To be truly free, a child must learn that reasoning is the pathway to a noble life and passions should assume a subordinate position. This is not to say children should not be passionate and instinctive per se. Rather it means that passion, commitment, and intuition are intimately connected to, and closely follow after, reasoned conclusions.

Second, parents should remember that children do not develop strong reasoning powers on their own. They need guidance and instruction from parents, and for this reason parents must learn to develop a close, communicative relationship with their children. Within this relationship parents can show their children how to reason through the decisions and events that cross their children’s pathway during the pre-teen and teen years.

There are four guiding principles that can help us build a communicative relationship with our children.

·Start early. In the pre-teen years, make the transition from the firm authoritarian to the person who is still in authority but who also listens and takes into consideration the child’s view.

·Respect the emerging person. During the pre-teen and teen years children are blossoming, slowly and steadily, into distinctive individuals. They are struggling to discover their place in life; they want to establish their uniqueness. It helps to understand this dynamic because in conversation you will respect your children’s views and give them an honest ear. This does not mean that you let children do whatever they wish. You still must hold the reigns of guidance. But as your children mature, allow them to express their views, hopes, and expectations.

·Trust yourself. Your perspective on life, your education, your experience, and your understanding of family and cultural values is far more informed and far deeper than your children’s. Your personal wisdom is sufficient to allow your children to express their thoughts, wishes, and opinions about life no matter how right or wrong they may be, because within respectful conversation you can explain to your children a deeper and broader understanding of whatever topic your are discussing. You can help them see issues and challenges from a more inclusive perspective. While allowing their expression of personal identity your can, in a reasoned discussion, steer their thinking toward a more considered worldview.

·Finally, your conversations with your children should be a collaborative exercise similar to what Socrates called the self-examined life. You and your children can approach personal issues and decisions together. Look at the facts, consider options, suggest alternative solutions, prioritize choices, discern between needs and wants. You can actually converse like colleagues while simultaneously introducing your children to considerations and insights that reflect your wisdom from life experiences. In other words, through the vehicle of loving, respectful conversation, you will be able to teach your child to approach life with the same kind of thoughtful consideration that you yourself exercise. Quite honestly, children love this. They rise up to higher standards of thought when their views are respected. They thrive in taking an active, yet collaborative, part in their choices. In this kind of conversation, they actually want Dad or Mom play an integral, supportive role in their development. Through experience, they come to discover that not only are Dad and Mom two “smart cookies” but that their parents love them deeply, and are standing beside them for the their best interests.

By Charles Debelak

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It is helpful to repeat Laurence Steinberg’s thesis in Beyond the Classroom, a discussion of his longitudinal study about student achievement. The research, he explains, illustrates that the most important factor in student success is engagement, that is, the extent that students understand why they must be educated and why they must apply themselves to do well in school will determine their success. In preparing children to be academically engaged, parents play the primary role. This effort, as Steinberg describes it, requires parental firmness, acceptance, and autonomy. In this article we will discuss autonomy.

Steinberg defines autonomy as “how much parents tolerate and encourage their child’s sense of individuality…[valuing] self-expression…children whose parents have granted them sufficient psychological autonomy are more self-reliant, more industrious, and more competent than other children. They have a stronger sense of their own abilities, and they are more persistent and determined when challenged in school or in some other achievement situation…they are more confident and less likely to feel helpless and are less susceptible to feelings of depression or anxiety.”

From my experience, I could not agree more. When a child, or an adult for that matter, deliberately chooses coursework, hobbies, recreation, or professional aspirations, the chances of success skyrocket. Motivation increases and persistence grows; success and personal satisfaction usually follow.

But when parents plan to supply their children autonomy and freedom of choice, they must keep in mind a few modifications. First, some maturity is needed. Autonomy assumes that children are ready to make intelligent, reasoned choices about life. Second, when parents give children autonomy, they must also provide wise guidance. Otherwise autonomy can quickly morph into self-indulgence where the only thing that matters to the child is ME! “I want this; I don’t want this; I like this; I don’t like this.” This is not autonomy. It is self-absorption that usually leads children to make foolish, even destructive, decisions that squander their abilities and even hurt others, all in favor of fulfilling their temporary pleasures and passions.

If parents wish to give their children meaningful autonomy, they must teach their children how to think, how to analyze and evaluate multiple variables that go into wise choices. Children must be taught how to make choices that will enhance their personal development and benefit those around them. Teaching children this skill is much more difficult than exercising either firmness or acceptance, factors we have discussed in previous articles. It requires forethought, patience, tolerance, and the ability to maintain a close, communicative relationship with our children. Within these parameters, parents offer children autonomy and reasoned discussion. While neither imposing their parental will nor allowing their children unbounded autonomy, parents work at engaging children in thoughtful conversation, a conversation that helps children acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, reminds them of their morals and values, shows them how to analyze and evaluate factors in their decisions, respects children’s individuality, and emboldens them to have the courage to do what is right for their own personal development and ability to help others.

And here lies a great dilemma. How can Mom or Dad to engage a self-willed, independent minded, young teenager in thoughtful discussion? That’s another story, and a topic we will discuss in the next month’s article.

By Charles Debelak

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Our previous discussions focused on Laurence Steinberg’s research in Beyond the Classroom. This research points out that although teachers, curriculum, and academic expectations are important, the extent of a student’s engagement in education is the most important factor for determining academic success. Furthermore, this engagement is grounded in the student’s motivation toward learning as it is shaped in the home environment. According to Steinberg’s research, parents provide three critical factors that foster motivation: acceptance, firmness and autonomy. In last month’s article we looked at the role of firmness. This article will focus on acceptance and how parental acceptance goes hand-in-hand with parental firmness.

For Steinberg, “acceptance refers to the degree to which the child feels loved, valued, and supported by his or her parents. Accepting parents are affectionate, liberal in their praise, involved in their child’s life, and responsive to their child’s emotional needs. Accordingly, children raised by accepting parents feel that they can turn to their parents when they have problems, that their parents encourage them, that their parents enjoy spending time with them, and that their parents are dependable sources of guidance and assistance.”

From my own experience, firmness and acceptance go hand-in-hand. Parental firmness stems from parental hope; parents want the best for their children. They are hoping their children will develop to their fullest intellectual, emotional, and social potential. Accordingly, the parents must work very hard at directing, guiding, and sometimes insisting upon the best paths for their child. But here is where problems can occur. When parents are exercising firmness, they most likely will run into the child’s will, a will that is often shortsighted, self-indulgent, and based in momentary pleasures rather than reason. As parents insist on their way, the child can find himself frustrated, overwhelmed, disheartened, angry, and rebellious.

At these junctures parents need to manifest their “acceptance”, their unequivocal love and support. In the midst of being firm, parents should help their children understand why they are demanding and firm. They must remind the child incessantly that they hope for and expect the best from their children because they believe their little child is the most wonderful young man or woman on the whole earth, and that their little child is unique, special and worthy of Mom and Dad’s love, devotion, and support. In essence, Mom and Dad become the child’s personal cheerleaders. The child must understand his parents’ motives; then he must also understand that Mom and Dad will do anything to help the child and support the child. They will spend time, money, energy, and even their own personal well-being to manifest their love and support for the child.

Firmness and acceptance work as a team. Parental firmness tells the child that his parents care deeply about his personal growth and development. His parents want what is best for him. Acceptance reminds the child that while his/her parents set high standards and can be very demanding, his parents will do whatever they can to make sure that every ounce of intellectual, psychological, and social potential comes to fruition. Firmness without acceptance can breed fear, insecurity, and failure. Acceptance without firmness lacks substance and will not help the child’s development.

In the formative years, ages 3-12, firmness and acceptance shape the foundations of a child’s motivation. Then in early adolescence parents are ready to guide their child onto the path of personal autonomy. This will be next month’s topic.

By Charles Debelak

Posted by burkholder515 at 03:49 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

In our previous discussion, we explained the role that student engagement has in learning. Even though teachers and curriculum play an important role in classroom success, Laurence Steinberg’s research strongly supports the idea that student effort, an active engagement in learning, is the most important factor.

At first look, it would seem that engagement is a result of intrinsic motivation, but in fact, Steinberg notes, “Most of the time, what keeps students going in school is not intrinsic motivation – motivation derived from the process of learning itself – but extrinsic motivation – motivation that comes from the real or perceived consequences associated with success or failure, whether these consequences are immediate or delayed. In order to emotionally engage in school, students must believe that what they are learning there is either interesting or valuable – and preferably, both.”

The home environment plays the most critical role in shaping student motivation toward academic engagement. Steinberg cites three parental factors: acceptance, firmness and autonomy. From my own experience, although the three factors work in harmony, firmness plays a leading role with younger children under the age of twelve.

Firmness toward children involves two realizations and three practices. The first realization is the acknowledgement that the parental perspectives on life, on personal and cultural values, and on wisdom in practical affairs based upon life’s experiences is far superior to that of a child’s. Yes, Mom and Dad, you do know better! And the best thing you can do for your child is to introduce your children to what you believe is best.

The second realization that parents need is that although children are born with the potential to become beautiful young people, virtuous and good, they also have the innate potential for vice and corruption. The former must be nurtured; the latter quenched.

Three practices issue from these two realizations. First, beginning at a young age, children need clear moral and ethical foundations, even though we know adult life is not black and white; it is filled with complex ethical decisions. Children, however, cannot begin here. They do not have either the human experience or education that supports wisdom, and if they do not begin life with a clear moral compass they are very likely to choose pathways in life that are unproductive at best and destructive at worst.

This leads to the second practice: imposing your will – rooted in an adult moral and ethical perspective – upon your child’s will – one drifting among childhood passions of likes and dislikes. Certainly an “epic” battle and the need for firmness lie here. Here also is where many parents fail, undermined by notions that somehow if the parents “make” their children behave, if they insist that their children do what is good and right, they will stifle the children’s freedom, perhaps sow seeds of rebellion against authority, or create childhood trauma that will permanently scar the child. Suffice it to say that this reasoning is fatally flawed. Actually if parents do not compel their young children to do what is good toward themselves and others, parents will inadvertently lead the child to become a prisoner to the child’s own passions and later peer group pressure.

Finally, firmness must be balanced by acceptance and autonomy. Parental acceptance, conveyed through words and deeds, tells children that Mom and Dad love them unconditionally and they will do whatever they can so that their children will lead a happy and productive life. Autonomy recognizes that ultimately children must make their own choices in life and parents need to guide their reasoning so that those choices lead toward a fulfilling life.

By Charles Debelak

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In the next four clipboard articles that focus on research and experience, I plan to discuss the findings of Laurence Steinberg’s highly regarded research in his book Beyond the Classroom: Why School Reform Has Failed and What Parents Need To Do. The reason I would like to share the findings of this research with the Birchwood community is because it echoes our own experience at Birchwood in the past twenty-five years and I believe the findings can help all parents inspire their children to do well in school.

Steinberg’s ten-year research project involving three universities and research teams, dating from the late 1980’s through the mid-1990’s, drew its conclusions from factors that lay outside schools.  This study found that student engagement was the single most important factor for academic success, that is, to the degree that students understood why they are in school, why it is important to do well in school, and then assume the responsibility to achieve to the best of their ability, determined their success. Engagement describes “the degree to which students are psychologically ‘connected’ to what is going on in their classes.”

Not only did the degree of engagement predict educational achievement, but it also indicated a child’s “well-being, because educational commitment is highly correlated with other psychological and behavior indicators of successful functioning…engagement can be a buffer against psychological problems… in much the same way that satisfaction with work is associated with better mental health among adults. . . Children who are interested and involved in school score higher on measures of psychological adjustment, such as assessments of self-esteem, responsibility, and competence in social relationship.”

Steinberg points out that the highest forms of engagement correlate directly to the extent that education is valued by family and student. This correlation is not only based upon getting good grades whereby a student gains acceptance to a better high school and college, but even more importantly, the correlation is even stronger when students understand the connection between  becoming an educated person and leading a personally enriched life that makes significant contributions to others and society at large.

Certainly schools can and should do as much as possible to help children become engaged in their education, but Steinberg’s research also shows that deeper levels of motivation and purpose are more often than not established outside the school setting. Too often schools that hope to inspire student achievement must first overcome attitudes and habits that are pushing students in the opposite direction.

After establishing the case for student engagement, Steinberg spends time explaining the important role that parents play. He lists three factors for parents to consider in the home environment: acceptance, firmness, and autonomy. I will take up each of these topics in the next three months and related my own experiences working with young people for more than 30 years.

By Charles Debelak

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While much of the debate about student academic success revolves around the place of school, curriculum and teachers, some researchers (and this practitioner), believing these factors are external, will cite evidence that the most important success factors are those that reside in the mind and heart of children themselves. This view claims that without inner motivation to learn, whether stimulated by individual aspirations or family and cultural expectations, children do not engage themselves in their learning. Even if they are given the best schools and curriculum with outstanding teachers, children who are detached from the learning process gain little.

For discussion sake, we can call these inner, hidden factors, intrapersonal. Although we could list many such factors, I would like to focus on three that experience and research support as central.

The first relates to a child’s belief and confidence in the value and importance of good education. Laurence Steinberg refers to research showing that even at a young age a child must be helped to see the connection between obtaining a good education and the quality of life they will have in the future. Statistical data for economic, social, and personal betterment overwhelmingly support this view. Adults must help children see the connection between children’s elementary, middle school and high school curriculum with future prospects. The correlation is not always direct, say between fifth grade language arts and a medical profession, but the need to become academically competent and capable of continued learning are inescapable necessities of the 21^st Century.

The second of these hidden, inner skills is a healthy attribution style. Bernard Weiner (UCLA) and Carol Dweck (Stanford) point out that children often draw premature and erroneous conclusions that they are “smart in math, but not in writing.” Children see their academic success or failure in terms of absolutes. In this context a child either is, or is not, able. On the other hand, children who are taught that effort and attitude play the most important part in their learning, will develop healthier attributions believing that learning and succeeding in school is within their own control and hence, if they improve their effort, they will improve their performance.

Finally, children who develop metacognitive skills are more able to adapt their efforts and attitudes toward academic achievement. A simple definition of metacognitive skills (at least as they occur in a school setting) identifies those abilities by which children process their school experiences, understanding why they failed or succeeded, determining what they need to do to remedy problems or improve their work, and devising an action plan that offers hope of advancement. This final point could find scholarly backing in the work of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs and Kazimierz Dabrowsky’s  theory of positive integration.

By Charles Debelak

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Research is confirming what many parents and educators understand intuitively: if you want children to become good at anything, you must begin education and training early. Sports and music enthusiasts have long understood this fact. In America during the past twenty-five years, we’ve witnessed a phenomenal increase of intense training and coaching at an early age for tennis, soccer, hockey and other sports. No one is surprised when we learn that an accomplished teen pianist has been studying piano seriously since age 8.

The underlying reality here is that the acquisition of skills and knowledge multiply - the earlier the investment, the greater the return. Often referred to as “The Matthew Effect” (from Matthew’s Gospel, the rich get richer) the idea describes, for example, that if children learn to read early, the benefits of being a competent reader multiply throughout childhood and adolescence. Children’s interest and competency in reading will continue to advance throughout childhood and adolescence. Sociologists have called this the “cumulative advantage” and it has important implications across the academic curriculum. If America wants its youth to excel in math, science, reading and writing, then meaningful efforts must begin early. By the end of elementary and middle school years, student attitudes and abilities in core subjects should be positioned for excellence in high school. There is research to suggest that if children are not competent and enthusiastic toward academics before high school, then even the best teachers find it difficult to inspire their students toward high achievement. Emphasis on a strong academic program should begin early.

But not only do students need a meaningful and substantial early start in academics, they also need an early start in developing good work habits and attitudes. Researchers like Jonathan Haidt (University of Chicago) and Martin E.P. Seligman (University of Pennsylvania) note that intrapersonal achievement skills, the personal habits that lead to academic success, like self-discipline, diligence and perseverance, can and should be developed early. Their effect also multiplies and forms the basis for teenage attitudes and achievement. A graduating middle school student who has learned how to focus, be industrious, manage time, establish goals and map out plans to reach their goals, will position himself or herself to make their high school and college experience robust, rewarding and highly productive.

By Charles Debelak

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Since nearly two thirds of our elementary and middle school are students who could be defined as “able learners” (defined broadly as above average, IQ 115-130, gifted, IQ 130-145, and highly gifted, IQ 145+) we have been challenged to develop school wide policies that enable us to provide a level of education that will challenge each student. We have come to realize that this is a dynamic process since each child brings a new set of abilities and interests which need particular attention. Nevertheless, drawing upon research we are currently working with six components that help us inform our decisions about how to provide academic challenge for our most able students.

Our first step was to identify appropriate levels of challenge for able students. While recognizing that the relationship between academic expectations and achievement is well established (Johnson, Livingston, Schwartz and Slate 2000; Marzano 2003) we also knew this would be a dynamic process, identifying meaningful challenge for able students would be an ongoing process. We had to ask the question, “What are high, meaningful standards for our able students this year, at this grade level, and in this subject area?” Conceptually, in order to get our arms around this task, as mentioned above, we categorized “able students” into three groups: bright students (I.Q. 110-130), gifted students (IQ 130-145) and profoundly gifted (IQ 145 +). It was self evident that if we hoped to provide appropriate challenge for each of these groups, that is to provide them with academic work that could maximize their intellectual potential, we needed to identify meaningful criteria. Our job was not unlike the athletic coach or the music instructor who would need to ask, “Compared to whom or to what is this boy a good soccer player or a good violinist?” Challenging academic work for able students needed meaningful measurements. We decided upon three criteria that could help establish our context for developing challenging academic programs.

As a foundation for this search, we followed subject specific criteria, identifying the essential structure of subjects (Bruner, 1960). That is, we would measure writing achievement levels within the context of what defines a good writer. Achievement criteria levels in history would describe the research and analysis process of historians. Then we would break down these subject criteria into grade level specifics. With this focus, we began to formulate a definition for meaningful contextual standards for able students.

First, we looked at achievements levels in mathematics, science, composition, history, literature and technology on local, state, national and international (when pertinent) levels. It was important for us to discover what levels of academic work able students were capable of. If we found schools that were teaching high school algebra to sixth, seventh, or eighth grade students we wanted to know why and how. If we found programs that taught students to write complete five paragraph essays by the fifth or sixth grade levels then we let their achievements inform our decisions on establishing meaningful criteria for challenging content.

Next, we decided to benchmark our curriculum for able students with that of these superior performing schools. We looked at the scope and sequence of content taught by subject and grade level. Following their lead, we let others’ success inform and direct our efforts.

Finally, at every opportunity, we tried to compare our able students’ work with that of students from superior academic programs. We entered our students’ work in a broad array of academic competitions that matched the work of able students with able students. These comparisons gave us concrete data letting us know whether our expectations for these students were appropriate and meaningful. Sometimes we found our children were far behind their intellectual peers. We would go back to the drawing board and reconsider our programming. Other times our students excelled and this confirmed that our programming was on the right track.

Identifying appropriate academic challenge for able learners, forced us to take a comprehensive look at our curriculum and how we taught our curriculum. High levels of achievement do not occur overnight. They are the result of building blocks of instruction: year-after-year, grade-by-grade, and subject-by-subject. The way we carried out our curriculum had to permit children to attain their highest levels of achievement.

To this end, we established that academic ceilings had to be removed. We did not want a fifth grade teacher saying to a student, “I cannot let you study integers, because that is taught in the sixth grade curriculum.” High-level challenges in fourth grade could not be stymied by a generic fourth or fifth grade curriculum. Course content had to be determined by a child’s capacity and we had to make whatever adjustments were possible to make sure children were working at levels that they found challenging, and that opportunities for continued challenge in subsequent grade levels would continue.

In this effort we found it effective to departmentalize the teaching staff starting in the third grade, a strategy used by public schools in China. Teachers who had greater expertise in math or writing, for example, were much more able to make academic adjustments within the regular classroom. They could provide options for acceleration or the application of higher order thinking skills as they related to subject matter.

Also, we helped train our teachers to continually apply an assessment and proscription model for instruction that kept them abreast of children’s instructional levels. Teachers had to learn how to identify when work was too easy and children would become bored, or when content was too difficult and levels of expectation had to be lowered. Although it would be impossible to individual instruction for each and every child, we could at least closely approximate instructional levels that maintained a challenging, and inspiring, pace.

This assessment-proscription model also required teachers to understand the value and appropriate application of ability grouping. Teachers had to understand how able students learn and subsequently how to adjust their teaching methods to maximize learning. Teacher training programs at school focused on methodology that ranged from direct instruction to constructivism.

As we forged procedures to maintain a challenging academic curriculum, our second concern was to help students understand the connection between good work habits and attitudes with academic achievement. We had enough teaching experience to know that high academic standards had to be matched by students willing and able to assume the challenge. The research is extensive that supports the place of “nonintellective factors” (Tannenbaum, 1997) in the development of able learners. We wanted our students to understand and experience the need for “task commitment” (Renzulli, 1978), delayed gratification (Rosen, 1956), and the need to assume personal owner ship for their achievement, that is, cultivating an internal locus of control (Rotter, 1966). We wanted our children to know that these personal attributes had as much, if not more, impact upon their success as their intellectual ability.

To this end we began crafting a curriculum that interwove affective factors with intellectual factors. We promoted the language of personal success. Each morning we took fifteen to twenty minutes to read stories from history and from the front pages of our newspapers, that detailed the lives of great men and women who modeled the virtues of dedication, hard work, self-discipline, social consciousness and responsibility. Our grading system – related to both achievement and effort – helped build what we called a “culture of achievement,” that not only emphasized challenging academics but also the personal characteristics that were needed to reach and achieve high level academic goals.

We applied Herbert Walberg’s (1997) interpretation of the Matthew Effect (from Matthew’s gospel story illustrating how the rich get richer, or what sociologists call “cumulative advantage) to elementary and middle school education. That is, early educational advantages multiply. If children, at an early age, develop the habits of facing academic challenges, accepting those challenges, and applying attributes of industry, self-discipline and dedication to master these challenges, they will have started the momentum of personal productivity and that could carry them into their adolescence and young adult life. Damon (1995) points out that waiting to instill these habits until the teen years can create a whole new set of new problems in which parents and teachers must first undo bad habits before new habits can be cultivated.

Which brings us to the most critical component of providing challenging academics for able students. This is the parent involvement factor. It is difficult to find any research that attempts to identify factors for academic achievement that does not highlight the role of parents. Hence we made parent communication and parent involvement a centerpiece in our work with able students. We began an ongoing education program for parents that explained their role in their children’s education. Our parent workshops had two components. We helped them understand why and how they could help their children reach their academic potential. In addition, we informed parents about standards of excellence from a state, national and international perspective. We knew that if the school were to be successful in adequately challenging able students, the parents themselves had to play an integral part of this effort. Furthermore, we establish on-going communication channels to help us fix appropriate instructional levels for children. We let parents know that we have a ready ear for parental “concerns” when it came to appropriate academic placing for their children. It was understood that if we were going to identify appropriate challenge for each child there needed to be a parent-teacher collaborative.

By Charles Debelak

Bruner, J.S. (1960). The process of education. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Damon, W. (1995). Greater expectations: Overcoming the culture of indulgence in America’s homes and schools. New York: Free Press.

Johnson, J.P., Livingston, M., Schwartz, R.A., & Slate, J.R. (2000). What makes a good elementary school? A critical examination. Journal of Educational Research, 93 (6), 339-345.

Marzano, R.J. (2003). What works in schools: Translating research into action. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Renzulli, J.S. (1978). What makes giftedness? Reexamining a definition. Phi Delta Kappan, 60, 180-184, 261.

Rosen, B.C. (1956). The achievement syndrome. American Sociological Review, 21, 203-211.

Rotter, J.B. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological monographs, 80, 1, Whole number 609).

Tannenbaum, A.J. (1997). The meaning and making of giftedness. In N. Colangelo & G.A. Davis (Eds.), Handbook of gifted education (2nd ed., pp. 27-42). Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Walberg, Herbert J., and Susie Zeiser. 1997. Productivity, Accomplishment, and Eminence. In: Handbook of Gifted Education, (2nd ed.), edited by Nicholas Colangelo and Gary A. Davis, 328–334. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

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By nature, children are attracted to and choose tasks that allow them to improve their performance and skills (McClellan, 1987). They want to learn, grow and develop. They want to get better at things; it is a part of their genetic makeup. Furthermore, it informs their sense of competency and self-worth. If tasks are too easy, children become bored and seek other domains in which they can become competent. If tasks are too difficult, children avoid engagement and once again seek other tasks at which they can be successful.

For those parents and educators who recognize the importance of academic development, the implications for schooling are quite obvious: school curriculum must provide appropriate academic challenge, that which gives children the sense of development and accomplishment. We hope our children will see the world of learning and academic achievement as their world. But even if the implications are obvious, the task is daunting. The hardest job for the school is keeping children on an instructional level –academic work is neither too easy nor too hard, but always providing sufficient challenge. This requires three efforts.

First, the school cannot be limited by grade-level standards. All academic ceilings must be removed. The question for teachers is not merely what should fifth grade students learn, but rather what levels of achievement is this fifth grader capable of.

Second, assessment must be continuous. The learning slope is not linear. It occurs in spurts, at which times children are capable of considerable learning in a short time. Afterwards the learning capacity levels off until the next spurt. This means that teachers (and parents) should be on the lookout for such times and provide curriculum accordingly.

Finally, parents and teachers need to work together. One the one hand, it is physically and mentally impossible for teachers to individualize the curriculum for every single student. However, if parents are willing partners with teachers, together they can develop academic plans that extend regular classroom work at meet individual needs. Also, parents and teachers need to work together to assess student achievement. Accurate placement requires the observations of both parents and teachers.

By Charles Debelak

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