The Potential To Become Great - Part 8
In this last essay on “becoming great,” (that is, becoming virtuous) I would like to emphasize the enduring value of this objective. The value endures because this value is intrinsic to human nature (this was Aristotle’s view). Each child is born with the potential to be virtuous. It is a common heritage. Not everyone is born with the capacity for music or athletics or leadership. Not all have the same cognitive abilities or the good fortune to be born in a wealthy society. But concerning the capacity for virtue, there is no difference. The virtuous s life can, and has, emerged from every corner of the world and every strata of society. It is no surprise then that stories of great people are ubiquitous, spanning intellectual, social, economic, racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural spheres.
Since virtue is intrinsic to human nature, setting virtue as an objective is like making plans for personal fulfillment. It includes lifelong enrichment, growth, and accomplishment. It enables us to become a blessing to family, friends, and society.
What does this mean for parenting? First, we understand that our children will discover personal fulfillment and happiness when they are growing and becoming who they can become. Consequently, we show them how to identify their strengths and weaknesses in and out of school, and explain how to set meaningful goals that will stretch their abilities. These are goals that will require self-discipline and hard work but are still within reach. Then we support this effort with the language of achievement: “Do your best; don’t quit; push yourself; work now – play later.” In the end, we let them know that we stand right alongside them as they stretch forward to achieve.
Second, we show them how to take positive ownership of their life among others - how to make friends, how to be a friend, how to create a friendly atmosphere, how to be a productive contributor in every social setting. Don’t let children become victims! Don’t let them pick up the habit of blaming everyone and everything for their lack of happiness. Show them how to get along with all kinds of people – those they like and those they do not like. Explain how to make the best out of each environment and social situation. If you can teach your children how to become a positive influence wherever they are, they will be valued and cherished throughout their life.
Finally, we must recognize that parents are the catalyst to make children “great.” It may require our time; it may require our money. It most certainly will consume our heart. But we make it happen. If we do not grasp this central role, someone else will, whether deliberately or by default, whether for good or ill. In one way or another, our children will be shaped by the influences bearing upon them. We ought to posture ourselves to exert the greatest influence. For better or worse, our children are our most enduring legacy. We ought to guide them toward a life of enduring value.
By Charles Debelak
